OK, what's this all about. It's about Jed of course. No, actually about's about Kevin. Confused, don't be their the same person, Jed is the dom alter ego of Kevin. Whereas I am pretty much Dom all the time, Kevin really only "role plays" a character that he has used as his front. Of course, as I have previously wrote about, I'm attracted to Jed.
So we have tried letting Jed out on me finally. Well, it didn't go as expected or is it that we should have suspected the end results. I can't be Dommed without Domming at the same time. Meaning it's top/top situation. Oh ya, he'll fuck me, but the moment he tried to go pass a point of domination, I immediately take back control and demand to be the alpha. Now don't get me wrong, being choked, being slapped on the face while being pounded is quite enjoyable, but I don't submit to Jed. It just can't happen. But that's ok, or at least it was.
Sex today started as it does almost everyday of our relationship. That in itself is significant because sex various in positions, roles, etc. What I'm saying is that I'm not only having sex everyday, it's also fresh and definitely not stagnant.
I see I've swayed from the purpose of this blog. It's what happened during sex today. Kevin was being my boy. He was serving me. He was being submissive. Hold on, pull the brakes, the guy that can choke the hell out of you, make you see stars, all while calling you defiled names (now I'm hard). The point, my co-top partner, who seeks out the boys with me, was submitting to me...genuinely.
I have been interviewing men to be my submissive or slave. It's challenging because I don't want a live in slave, and many require too much attention and financial support. I simply want to own you while your in my house and let you be you once you walk back out my door. The point is that I never considered Kevin. He's not leather. Oh ya, he's played with toys, and been fucked silly, but he's never experienced the collar of security that comes from being protected and loved by a Dom.
Needless to say, I came three times during this session. But I discovered that it was difficult to completely Dom Kevin. I don't want to hurt him, I don't even know his limits. So anyone who read my post about how it was unfair that Kevin could release Jed onto our third parties, he couldn't release him onto me. Turns out, I view it the same way towards him. Master Ty has played...heavily...pain intense......mind fucking.......thrives with the control, .......lost in my ego.
will I collar Kevin. No...well...I don't know. There are both sexual and mental benefits of having someone collared who is NOT your partner. I don't want a sub who knows my finances or personal weaknesses. I want a fucking sub who is going to worship my feet as though I'm Christ himself and as far as I'm concerned am. I want to call my sub a faggot while I choke them on my cock. I want to slap my boy across the face, throw them to the ground, grab their neck and ram into them until they cum without even touching their cock. I want to release my God complex and pull my sub by what little hair they have and kiss my property. I want to tell them to stay on their knees and be my foot stool while toys are inserted in their rectum. I want to be dark, I want to be me. Can I do that with my life partner. I don't really know.
But till that time, there's only one thing I can do, and that is to continue to bring home the subs. I would rather Kevin continue to see all the aspects of submission, what it means, and whether he is truly sub. If today was any indication, he definitely has the potential of being a wonderful sub. And if he is a natural sub......there is no way I'm allowing him to find a Dom outside of us. It will be me or he will not be subbed. .